b'ENGAGEMENTaway, closing email, and if yourestanding. After the information hasions are coming from. Ask yourself inperson,turningawayfrombeen shared, say something like,three things:your computer to resist the urgeIf I understand you correctly, youWhat is their perspective?to look at it. Those steps set thefeel as though we should change stage and let the person youreour reporting process. Do I haveWhat are their feelings?listening to know youre there tothat right? What are their experiences?listen, even before you begin. IfRemember,youdontneedto you feel it would be beneficial, sug- solve everyones problems; some- Use the insight you gain from your gest another place to talk withouttimes, they just want to discussanswers to empathize with the interruption.things with you. Asking questionsspeakers point of view.In a virtual setting, remember tothat lead to more details and infor- 6Allow Time for turn off distractions like email ormation allows people to know they cell phones. People can tell if youare understood. Silenceare texting or distracted, evenWhen you ask a question, allow when not face-to-face. 4Recognize Non- the person you are speaking with If you set aside 30 minutes forVerbal Cues to absorb, ponder, and process a conversation, make sure youExperts report that approximatelybefore they respond. Silence can spend those 30 minutes focused70%ofourcommunicationisbe awkward, but its actually your solely on what the other personnon-verbal. When youre listen- friend. When youre quiet, you can needs from you. Avoid looking ating to someone remember to paylearn more as the other person your watch or the clock becauseclose attention to the non-verbalfeels the need to fill the void of air that can immediately make peoplecues: space. Allow 7 seconds of silence feel as though they are taking upto let someone think or ponder an too much of your time. Ensure theyFacialexpressions:Istheiridea.feel important and let them knowexpression showing theyre inWhy 7 seconds? 5 seconds is likely their opinions matter. agreement with you? to cut someones idea off, but 10 Eye contact: Are they meetingseconds can become too much.3. Ask Questionsor avoiding your glances?Silence will give you time to truly And Mirror To GainGestures: How do they supportunderstand what others are saying Understanding the tone of the conversation? while providing them time to think AvoidformulatingaresponseFocus: Are they distracted orabout their responses. If you dont while the speaker is talking. Whileengaged? receive a response after 7 seconds, its tempting to have a ready com- These cues can give you valuableconsider asking your question in ment as soon as they pause, chal- insight into the speakers thoughtsanother way.lenge yourself to devote all yourand feelings. Its equally important to be mindful of the signals youre7Provide energy to listening and formulate a response as they conclude. Quietsending through your body lan- Meaningful the noise in your head and if yourguage as well. Feedback That Leads mind wanders, actively bring it back to whats being shared. 5. Practice Empathy To Problem-SolvingMake sure you understand theThe lens youre looking through isBy the time you reach this level substance of what is being shareddifferent than the speakers lens.of Impactful Listening, you have with you as well. Mirroring, orTake the time to walk in some- earned the ability to add your own reflecting, to the speaker whatones shoes and make an effort toinsight and provide information youve heard reinforces under- truly understand where their opin- the speaker may find useful.132 How to Become a More Impactful Listener'