I travel the globe delivering B2B sales training. To stay motivated I often tell myself the world is a better place because of my contributions in this area. If you’ve ever had the pleasure of working with someone I’ve trained perhaps you would agree.
The downside to being a b2b sales consultant is air travel. Flying is not too bad as long as I get an exit row seat or an occasional upgrade to first class. Most of the headaches I encounter with travel have to do with the people I sit next to or near when flying. Check out the list of people I’ve met while flying as well as the passive aggressive tactics I use to make the best of my time near them.
Special note: Generally I prefer a direct approach to resolving conflict. Unfortunately my experience with this method when flying has caused more tension than resolution in the past. I understand a passive aggressive approach is not the best way to deal with people and resolve conflict; however, due to the short duration of most flights an indirect approach is often a better way to deal with some of these folks. Plus some of these things I do provide some entertainment value during a trip… something to pass the time. Many B2B sales consultants will find familiarity with some of the following personalities.
The Oozer
This person takes all of his or her seat and part of yours. It is important to note the Oozer is not always a large person—many are control freaks that have an obsession with dominating the space around them.
How to deal with The Oozer:
- Ooze back and let the most dominant oozer win!
- Let them ooze all they want. This option is not recommended for flights longer than one hour.
Extra note:
There is another version of the Oozer called the Bruiser. These massive folks—with twenty-five inch necks and thirty inch biceps—take up plenty of space.
How to deal with the Bruiser:
- Do nothing… just let ‘em be!
The Schmoozer
Also known as Chatty Katty, this person is a non-stop source of babblement. By the way the male version of the Schmoozer can be a nightmare for female passengers and flight attendants.
How to deal with The Schmoozer:
- Fire up your noise canceling headphones or any kind of headphones—even if they are not connected to a source of music.
The Boozer
This person consumes large quantities of alcohol to cope with the stress of air travel or to cope with life in general.
How to deal with The Boozer:
- Join ‘em! Don’t try to keep up with a Boozer, you will lose.
- Ask them if they are driving after the flight.
- Avoid ‘em! Do not engage or make eye contact and sit back and watch the show. Some of these folks are entertaining.
The Stinker
Some people have issues with gas. The Stinker is in my humble opinion the worst seatmate of them all!
How to deal with The Stinker:
- Crank up the ventilation system and direct the air flow away, away, away!
- Make a fan out of the latest Delta SKY magazine and fan, fan, fan!
- Gas back… silently of course.
The Talker
The Talker feels the need to carry on a conversation on their mobile phone before the cabin door is closed and take off. Of course he or she does this in a loud voice and reveals more information than anyone in the area cares to hear.
How to deal with The Talker:
- Take out your mobile phone and dial up an imaginary person and start a conversation. During your conversation repeat the same words your seatmate says during his/her conversation. This has the net effect of a duplicate conversation on a three second delay. See how long it takes the Talker to catch on to the joke.
The Recliner
Extremely annoying, the Recliner feels it’s their right to recline their seat and invade the personal space of others. Some of these folks are tall and need extra space… some are five feet and four inches tall and don’t understand the impact of this selfish behavior.
How to deal with The Recliner:
- Bump their seat back every five minutes or so.
The Eater
Hungry and ready to chow the Eater arrives at their seat with a fast food bag in tow ready to break out the goods before or during the flight.
How to deal with the Eater:
- Reach over and take one of their fries!
- Ask them if they know how many calories are in a typical fast food meal.
The Clampett
Kinfolk of Jed, Granny, Elle and Jethro this person feels the need to carry on the maximum amount of luggage and personal gear allowed by law.
How to deal with the Clampett:
- After they get all their goods stored in an overhead compartment and the seat in front of them move one of their items. For extra impact, do this without saying anything to them and wait for their response.
Don’t get me wrong, not all flyers fit into these descriptions and there are plenty of wonderful people who fly. I’d just like to figure out why I never sit next to them.
Have you met any characters who are not mentioned in this post? If so, please leave a comment.
